Once upon a time, a little girl was born. She had incredible gifts of insight, wonderful writing ability, and the great capacity to love others. But she was born into a family that was flawed. Her father could love but he could not work. Her mother could work but she could not love. They filled each other’s holes sometimes, but there was little left for the gifted little girl. She had to learn to mother herself, even though it was incomplete and never quite enough. After all, she was still a little girl. She needed much more than either of her parents had to give to her, but she did feel the ray of love coming from her father. And she did learn how to take care of others when they were sick which came from her mother.
So a mother was born inside the little girl, right from her own personality. If her real mother was not truly a real mother, then her made-up and created mother could always be there inside of her – waiting at any moment that the little girl needed her. Sometimes the little girl forget, and cried alone. Then she would remember, and bring her inside mother to life – to help the girl, or to answer a question, or for encouragement. This was comforting and it allowed her to lean on her inside mother but it wasn’t the same as having warm arms, a huge smile, and a big kiss. A mother who read to her at night, lay down with her until she slept, calmed her fears, and shared her childhood stories.
But when she thought about it, she really got much more than that with her inside mother. Probably every little girl (and boy) would like to have a mother like her fairy tale description, along with loving hugs. Probably most didn’t have that.
She remembered that her father did indeed love her very much. He had always seen in her what she could grow up to be and what she could do. He was proud and told her so. Perhaps if she had been born a boy, she would have coped better with the life she had. Her brother had done it. But that wasn’t her reality. She was a girl. And she had the love that her father had given to her which was still a great big love.
For that the little girl inside the grown-up woman was extremely grateful. She could remember her father, and smile at him. And she loved her father in return. Not everyone gets a father who can love with his whole heart.
Thank you, Fop. Happy Father’s Day, and I love you. Great Big.