Review of “A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex after 50: Getting Your Mind, Body, and Relationship Ready for Pleasure” – BY: PEPPER SCHWARTZ, PHD A Vibrant Nation Health Gui

I am delighted to report that I found this report fascinating and encouraging.  Dr. Schwartz has covered all of the angles in creating and maintaining a healthy sex life for women (and men) past their 50th birthday.  I was curious when I began to see if she would be all inclusive to the many options which women have, and was excited to see that she did exactly that, covering masturbation, later in life gender choice changes, toys, diet, and exercise.

Having had many conversations with my close friends about the way sex changes as we get older, I was gratified to learn that for many, it does get better.  Dr. Schwartz doesn’t dodge the issues of body image or health problems.  There is some glossing of the “average” woman in her 50’s and how good “she” feels about her life, but I took this to mean that the things which Dr. Schwartz writes indicates how possible it is for women to be satisfied their sex lives.  She goes on to delve into the prospect of lowered libido for so many reasons, each reason well presented and researched, and how to approach that “problem” to enhance one’s sexual experiences.

I like the idea that there is one report which I can read that will detail the many separate articles for which I would have to search – in magazines, academic journals, online articles. This is an easy read that gives me the information I can seek on my own, and wonder about the validity of it.  Dr. Schwartz’s background removes that concern.

I particularly agree with the exercising component.  If you don’t love your body then it does become hard for someone else to do so.  The endorphins I get from exercise do more for my mind and sexual health than anything I have ever tried.  I have been on Paxil for too many years to recall, and I believe I will be weaning in the next few months just to see if that makes a difference.

I also have girlfriends who have opted out of long time marriages, seeking their own personal fulfillment or simply getting out of a bad situation, who I hope will find the part about dating after 50 a great encouragement.  One particular friend has chosen to throw her lot in with an emotionally unavailable man because dating is so difficult.  Remembering and reinforcing that it takes work to accomplish any goals which are worthwhile is an important part of Dr. Schwartz’s study.

Kudos to you, Pepper Schwartz, for boiling it down into an easily digestible guide which will hold appeal for so many women over 50.  I learned from it.  Have sent it to my husband, and will suggest it for many (male and female) friends.  Well done.  Dr. Schwartz is a wonderful writer, and an authority on this important subject.  I don’t plan to give up sex as long as I’m breathing, and I will embrace many of her ideas for getting the romance back.

FYI – for those of you interested (and all of you should be) here is the link to purchase the guide as well as a free report on vaginal dryness.

A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex After 50: Getting Your Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure
Product Link:
http://www.vibrantnation.com/store/great-sex-after-50-a-womans-guide-to-getting-her-mind-body-and-relationship-ready-for-pleasure-php/

Associated Free Report: Top 5 Treatments for Vaginal Dryness and Dyspareunia (Sexual Intercourse Pain)
Free Report Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/freemiums/top-5-treatments-for-vaginal-dryness-and-dyspareunia-sexual-intercourse-pain/

Wtf?

Watch the following. Wow, you thought it was going to be a very ugly post, didn’t you?  No, no, no.  I can do this on my time, but not on VN’s nickel.  Ahem.

How much have you changed?  Think about that for a moment.  1….2….3…. and so on.  How different do you feel today from, let’s say, five years ago?  10?  25?

We change.  Yeah, that’s the good news and the bad.  Women change.  And sometimes we don’t want it to happen.  Who deals with change well?  The human condition says you don’t do it.  Well.  Yet, it is the one constant in life.  That changes will happen.

So you’ve changed.  Do you feel less maternal?  Less willing to give until you drop?  I do.  This will be my last Thanksgiving cooked at my house.  Everyone is welcome to come again next year and the year after and the years after that.  I hope to be living somewhere else next year.  That is part of my change.  I have been in the same house for 26 – YEAH – 26  years.  I want new living arrangements.  I want a downtown condo without two huge german shepherds.  I don’t exactly know what to do about that, but it suddenly occurs to me that this is not where I want to be now.  I don’t want to be and do and act like others think I should.  I want to live in my skin without the care taking of previous years.  I’m not in charge of anyone else nor do I want to be.

So here’s the deal.  (One of my most hated statements.)  I want to choose for a change.  I want to be me in such a real way that others may hate it.  Sons may wonder where their mother went.  Perhaps when I’m 70, I will want some of this back.  I rather doubt it.  I want to pursue my path and my direction without the endless demands of a mother and, quite frankly, a wife.   I finally just want to be me.

I have recently begun HRT.  Pellets.  I feel very good now.  Energy is popping out all over.  Check your research, and see if you need the benefits of estrogen.  testosterone.  progesterone.  Check out Milleniumwellnessusa.org.  Its worth considering.

Where are you in your life changes?  Do you have less need to be the care-taking woman who you’ve been?  Man, have I been that.  If you still want it, tell me.  I would love to hear from all of you whether your body is changing your life or you are choosing the path you chose.  I need to know.

 

Happy Birthday to me, and other great books

Today I am 56 years old.  I feel it, yet I don’t.  I feel older, yet I don’t.  I feel younger, ummmmm, no I don’t.  I do feel that I’ve been here this long, sometimes longer, and I’m not terribly unhappy with where I am and who I am.  Sometimes the comments of others stand out so loudly from the crowd.  A few which I received (via Facebook) were eye-opening and rather delightful.  Those may be from people who don’t know me very well.

I have found THE book.  Yes, I do mean THE book.  So often, many tell us they have THE book.  Oprah tells us that on a regular basis.  My problem with Oprah’s books is that the are often too froo-froo for my taste.  Yes, I like to know that I can think positive thoughts and change my reality, but sometimes I want feet-on-the-floor advice.  Look-in-the-mirror-see-life suggestions.  I can meditate, and should do it more often, but on occasion I want the great understanding from writers who can help me.  I have found it in this book.

If you do not yet have it, RUN don’t walk to your nearest book store, Amazon connection, Kindle download.  The book is The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, M.D.  This book has offered me a birdseye view of me.  I walked into the Local B&N store on Saturday afternoon, after dropping off the last of our Thanksgiving visitors at the airport.  It was time for some serious “me” time, so browsing through the books and having a cup of tea sounded perfect.  I, of course, cannot browse through books without becoming enamored with several.  Also, one of my gifts to myself this year is a trip to the beach for three nights alone to do some thinking, walking, and re-energizing.  I need books to help with that.  Again, RUN don’t walk.

I opened the book, which lay on a table of buy-2-get-1-free books, and begin to glance at the pages.  Reading the contents page, I quickly flipped to “The Mature Brain” (not to be confused with grownup.  Mature=50+).  The first paragraph was one of those strange “she must have interviewed me” reporting that made me know immediately I had found what I had come to find.

I know I’m preaching to the choir now, but this book will open your eyes on your whole life’s brain in a way that you never considered possible.  According to Brizendine, research on women’s brains did not begin until 1990.  Prior to that, we were considered to have the brain of small men.  Because our brains are actually smaller.  Denser with as many neurons as a man’s, but physically smaller.

Content titles run from “What Makes Us Women”, to “Love and Trust”, and “The Future of the Female Brain”.  Because of the differing hormonal styles of women’s bodies and brains, there are such tremendous differences between how a man reacts, responds, chooses, and lives.  Interestingly, as I read portions to my husband, he kept asking about what this meant for men.  I stated calmly, then firmly, then with some agitation that this was a book about women.


Dr. Brizendine begins the book with her hormonal cast of characters, in which she defines the important hormones in both women and men.  She includes a chart which explains what is happening hormonally to women at each stage of life, from fetal to postmenopause.  The book reads easily, with personal stories to explain and compare the many stages and their characteristics.  If you have children, both boys and girls, this will allow you insight into them that you could have used many years earlier.  This is not an  anti-feminist book.  She states, that “females perform all the cognitive functions males perform — they just do so by using different brain circuits” (5).

Treat yourself for your birthday – whether it is today, or sometime in the next 364 days.  You will be so glad that you did.

Over-50 Entrepreneurs just as successful

Think you must be young to start a business and make it successful?  Think again.  This study shows that the over 50’s are even more likely to get over the hump – including the technological industries.

Take a look.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2009/sep/26/starting-business-over-50s

3 Women College Presidents in South Carolina

In a state not known for our educational successes, this is truly a wonderful accomplishment for women.  In Spartanburg County, Three of six college presidents are women.  I think that speaks highly for the growth of opportunties for women.  Maybe one day, I’ll become a college president.  Hasn’t been on my list of things to do before I die, but now I’m interested.

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20090913/ARTICLES/909131064/1083/ARTICLES?Title=Women-leading-3-colleges-in-county

Changing face of Retirement

I really like this article about the re-making of retirement by boomers.   Currently, I have no active plans to retire, but if I do, the ability to make it what I want it to be is extremely satisfying.  The focus on helping others is uniquely there, along with some ability to earn.  I am a fierce entrepreneur capitalist, even if there are times I wish to be a socialist.  The earning capacity always interests me, but the helping does even more.  I wonder if any of our readers has “remade” her retirement.  If so, please let us know how you have done it.

http://www.seniorslifestyle.com.au/changing-face-of-retirement/