On occasion, I’m smart enough, or perhaps simply willing enough – to trust my intuition and allow the universe to lead me. I open my mind, and let the connections that are coming my way – connections of a sort I would normally ignore or question or doubt – allow them to seep into my subconscious and even my conscious thoughts. I just wait and listen and allow – and that can become a most amazing experience.
What am I talking about? Recently, my awareness of and response to dogs has taken on a new level. We have two German Shepherds. We have had dogs throughout our married life, and I have allowed myself to get close to only two of the five that have been big parts of our lives. Our first dog was a step-dog for me – she came with my husband. She had been the dog of my spouse and his first wife. They treated her like she was a child, and she acted much like a child. Not her fault, but I resented her for it. I couldn’t make change her, nor apparently could I change myself (the only being we can truly change), because I believed that the situation was more like me becoming a stepmother – my input was not necessary nor desired. I was probably wrong about that as I have been about many things. Plus I had two pre-teenage sons, a baby on the way, and a new business. This lovely little dog wasn’t going to get much of my time or attention. She truly was a lovely, border-collie looking dog. Luxurious black hair, a shrill warning bark – lovely.
Later, we ended up with a Dalmatian. I loved that dog. He was big and beautiful, emotionally responsive, protective, and shed tons of little white Dalmatian hairs. Then along came Champ. Champ. The largest, most beautiful German Shepherd I have ever known. He had a mane like a lion. He smelled like baby powder. I had a difficult time getting close to Champ – for the first year, he pooped all over our house and tore down wallpaper. I have no background in training dogs, and chose not to learn. Stupid stupid me. Then I had a partial hysterectomy. Within two weeks, Champ and I became inseparable. He was my dog, and I deeply loved him. Of course, here comes the tragedy. We came home one Friday afternoon and Champ was missing. I went searching and found him. Under our front deck… in a coma. Champ died before we got to the emergency vet.
My heart closed. Every dog I came near after that threatened that emotional wound. Especially any dog we brought home. My husband and youngest son wanted a new dog right away. I didn’t. We ended up with another German Shepherd, Prince, 2 months later. It was way too soon for me. No way I was allowing him into my heart. Sweet Prince. He has never forced the issue. Then we got Bella two years later. I think one dog often needs a playmate, especially if the owners are often away. And what a playmate. Bella is all energy and excitement. Too much for me to handle. I just wanted her away from me. For awhile, I convinced myself I was allergic to her. What if I am? Allegra works well for me.
So here is the Universe knocking on my door. I’ve grown weary of reading bad fiction, and burned out on reading books that relate to my history major. But I love to read. A couple of months ago, I picked up a book about a woman who is part of rescue operation of boxers in New York. I was deeply touched. Then I found Dean Koontz‘s A Big Little Life, about his dog, Trixie. Having finished that (and cried like a baby – no, actually sobbed like a grown woman at the end), I went searching in my book shelves. I found The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell – Learn how to communicate with your dog for willing cooperation. I don’t know what’s going on exactly, but the universe is talking and I’m listening. Feels very good. I’ll see where this takes me, and I shall follow its lead.