The Android Learning Curve

So you think you want to take the leap into the next generation phone.  Yeah, okay.  Let me tell you the ups and downs and ins and outs that I’ve experienced.  You probably won’t learn from me.  We don’t do that as humans, do we?  We have to leap in and figure it out for ourselves.  Or try.  Or throw our hands in the air, screaming and cursing, and wondering wildly if we still have a grace period to return it for that mere $35 or so.  If you are determined to take the leap – and I was – then prepare.  Oh, honey, prepare.

I had a blackberry.  I was fine with it.  Did all the things I needed a phone to do.  I could get my email, send text messages, take and return phone calls.  Then our company changed vendors.  I received another blackberry, and all of a sudden, it was a blackberry dud.  Couldn’t get facebook, forget twitter (which I wasn’t doing anyway), emails might show up.  Answering it was an effort in frustration.  Could have been the new company (I found out when I changed my service that it was a reseller of a reseller.  Go figure.).  Could have been the phone itself.  But I hit a brick wall with frustration over the dang phone.

After struggling for several months, and feeling that I had been left way behind in the growth of technology, forgotten and left adrift,   I made the leap to the Android – and paying for my own service, which was a huge deal to me.  I have never paid for my own phone service (gulp – am I growing up?)

Then came the learning curve.  Damn.  Send an email.  Type (or is it called something else?), look for a send button, look up to see that two out of ten words are spelled correctly, remember to type a little higher on the “C” button or I’ll get the “space” button, backspace and correct.  Backspace and correct again.  Find the send button again.  Then try an email.  Or go to the camera. How do I change it from video to camera?  Then forward the pictures to an email address.  Apps?  Really?  What are the free ones?  Can I change them?  How do I get them on the home screen – or the other three home screens?  Once I download them, and slow the phone to a crawl, how do I get them off of the phone?

Okay, I’m purty smart.  I can go to Verizon‘s website (or AT&T, or Whomever) and find tutorials that will allow me to learn this an easier way.  And I’m learning.  I’m even beginning to like it.  Two weeks after I got it, I was going to return it.  Except I was on a cruise in the Baltic.  Not that near my store.  I think this ended up being a good thing.  My husband tells me I’m addicted.  I’m just trying to figure the thing out.  This is not a phone.  Its a computer which allows you to make phone calls.  I’m reading books on it – which has increased my book costs.  But I’m getting there slowly.  I’m even beginning to understand why people look at their phones all the time.  But I’m not addicted.

Any horror stories among the other vibrant women about learning curves?  Tell me the hardest part for you.  Be brave.

Social Media to fund Education!

How delighted I was to read in this morning’s issue of the Greenville News that you can now earn a major scholarship by tweeting! The story was adapted from USA Today, but in essence, the “at the university of Iowa, a good tweet is worth $37,000.00″.  Really.  The article goes on to mention several other schools and scholarship organizations which offer higher education opportunities to good tweeters.

I can feel the ire of the old guard writers who are itching to pound their keyboards in outright frustration over this.  No, I don’t think it means that they will not be taught to write.  Or no more so than any other student who attends the same college (whichever one that it is).  In the case of Iowa, they offer this in place of a second essay.  So writing is on the table, but in this not so new age of social media, this makes sense.

Anything that promotes higher education makes sense to me.  And higher education is for any of us who want it at anytime that we want it.  At Vibrant Nation, I have seen several posts of women seeking to earn a degree past the one they once earned.  Or for personal satisfaction.  Or to make that midlife leap into something new, something they always wanted to do.  Or be.

If you are one of those women teetering on the edge of whether you want to make this leap, and you need funding, explore these ideas at your local colleges.  Practice your tweeting skills.  Write a blog.  You never know what will take you into that realm of dreams that will allow you to accomplish yours.

Tweeting for a scholarship.  Go figure.

 

Preparing for a Cruise

Have you ever prepared for a trip to a destination that was not experiencing the same weather as your world?  I’m headed to a northern European port (for a 25th Wedding Anniversary Cruise), that will not be hot.  Wow!  Preparing has been so difficult!  I know, I know, I can hear those tiny violins in the background feeling sorry for me.  But I have this thing – this lack of memory of what it was like to be hot when the weather is cold.  Or what it was like to be cold when the weather outside is in the 90’s and extremely humid.  This is Greenville, SC, after all, and the humidity can raise the heat levels massively.  I know, I know…

So how do you do it?  How do you try to figure out what clothes to take when you are currently sweating and know that the weather will be around 60 degrees F most of the time?  At least during the day.  I’ve been advised layers.  Layers to layer on and remove.  But nights – cold?  Fearfully so, or just delightfully so?  I don’t think I will do this again – plan a vacation that is removed from me from the weather standpoint.  I have this great imagination that allows me all sorts of horrible thoughts (yeah, I often imagine the worst), yet it is not helpful when it comes to imagining weather.

Tell me what you have done, with this type of planning.  Tshirts and sweaters?  Tights and jackets?  Pantyhose (Gag…)?  What do I do?  Answer quickly – I leave in 4 Days!

A structured week

For the past few months I have been in a funk.  I have kept putting one foot in front of another, but there I’ve been.  Just walking along, bumping into walls, letting life happen.  In many cases, trying to force life to go more my way than life usually wants to do.  But it was a force on others.  Not keeping my focus on my life, but allowing the events of other’s lives to decide my emotional bearing.  

I fall into this hole when I feel that those I love have lives which are spinning out of control.  Usually, they are my children.  My grown children who are able to make choices and pay their own way.  Still, the worry has taken a toll on my health and my happiness.

How do we keep from falling into these holes?  Sometimes, rarely, I can see the great big black hole right before I dive in headfirst.  Other times, I dive and go under over and over before I realize I’m even in the hole.  I find that if I’m pursuing my life, with determination and focus (which includes a calendar with to do things to follow through with), I do better.  If I exercise, I do better.  If I eat right, I do better. 

Its been a tough couple of months.  But I’m still walking.  And doing so with more awareness of my life.  I am keeping my head held high and my eyes on the path.  I can’t look any higher than that right now.

See your path in front of you ~

During one of my earliest trips to Hilton Head Island, I spotted a woman on a bike.  She was wearing a yellow bikingtop and heather grey biking shorts.  Her socks were bright white, but I don’t recall her the color of her shoes.  Black, maybe.  She had a luxurious long grey pigtail down her back.  Tanned and fit, I guessed that she was in her 60’s.

I have maintained that image ever since then.  Perhaps 18 years ago.  I saw what I wanted to be physically at that age. I wanted to be fit.  I wanted to be biking.  A fit and strong woman riding her bike on a beautiful day in a lovely environment inspired me without having seen her face nor heard her voice.  Although I have lost my fascination with Hilton Head (another stoplight??), I have not lost my love of biking.  At some point in my life, I decided that if I took good care of my legs, they would take good care of me.  Even with the feet problems I endure, my legs are strong and vital.

I believe that if you see it ahead of you, you can get there.  If you can imagine it, you can attain it.  If you believe it, then “it” will become real for you.  The universe hears and responds.  I believe that I can stay fit for the remainder of my life.  The amount of miles I can ride may change from year to year, but that hasn’t yet been the case.  I rode 14 miles yesterday, and plan 20 today.  I’m 56 years old.

This is what I find curious.  I see women who apparently spend time and money on hair and nails.  They are completely finished with color and sparkle on the outside of their bodies.  But they are 30 lbs overweight.  Or 50.  I have to wonder if they took those hours which they spend on hair and nails – or a portion thereof – and applied them to walking, or Pilates, or biking, how much better could they improve their lives and their health?  How much better would they look with the glow of regular exercise?

Start slow.  Start small.  But start.  Walk to the mailbox, walk around the block, go to the park with your dog, walk. Walk.  Walk.  Cut down slightly on portions.  Notice eating habits after 9 PM or 8 PM or whenever you realize that eating is just about a habit or emotional need.  Give your body the attention you offer your hair or nails.  I think that the delight you will see and the health you will create will add great satisfaction to those lovely nails and that gorgeous hair.  You don’t have to be an athlete.  You simply have to decide what you want to be in 10 years.  Or 20.  Look ahead, find that image that inspires you – a realistic magazine photo, a picture of you in a fit condition, a cartoon – find something that inspires you.  And go get it.

Dang, this is not what this post was supposed to be about.  I’m going to get my nails done.

The Loss of a Great Lady

On Saturday afternoon, I attended the memorial of Jean Howorth.  The service was a combination of solemnity and celebration as family members and friends recalled what a loving woman she was.  We danced at the end – a large circle of people who held hands and sang or hummed the song. 

Jean was 90 years old.  She had suffered the loss of 7 inches of height due to arthritis, and in November, she had surgery for cancer.  I don’t know what kind, nor do I think it matters.  What Jean also had was an irrepressible spirit.  When she attended the Fellowship (GUUF), she was dressed to the teeth.  Makeup, jewelry, fashionable clothing.  At least as fashionable as one can be at 89 years of age with a walker and at last, a wheel chair.   For her memorial, she asked that her jewelry be laid out on a table and that anyone who would like a piece, to take it and wear it in memory of her.  I have bronze and brown pearls.  They aren’t real.  Yet they are so real.

When I began coming to this group over two years ago, she reached out to me.  The headstrong 55-year-old woman coming alone to find a spiritual home that would fit.  Or fit better.  Any fit at all would be better than what I had experienced.  She held her hands out to me, and told me what a lovely smile I had.  That she liked my words when I felt like sharing with the group. 

Jean had an aura that surrounded her.  An aura of compassion and love and interest in her fellow traveler.  When asked how she felt, she replied something like, “Except for the fact that my feet don’t work, I feel sensational.”  I’m paraphrasing but not by much. 

I’m struggling through some life issues now that I have because I’m healthy and alive.  I want to me more like Jean – to embrace the world because it is beautiful.  To think in terms of gratitude and not lack.  To be able to say, “I’m sensational.”  I don’t want to fake it, but I want to seek it.

Here’s to you, Jean.  You were truly an inspirational woman – beautiful, intelligent, curious, strong even in physical weakness, capable of teaching me every day living cues.  I will miss you.  I didn’t know you very long, but I cared for you deeply.  Wait, and we’ll talk when I get there.

Vanity thy name is Lucy

My goodness, I have become hypersensitive to looking at necks.  Wassup with my focus?  Everywhere I go, I see necks – turkey necks, floppy necks, mottled necks.  Why is that the single source of my displeasure?  For most of my life – as I can remember – I have focused on one body part until I have either done something about it or I’ve managed to move it off of the hotspot.  This one seems to be keeping me way too focused.

Several years ago, I purchased a video of a woman demonstrating that if you regularly exercised your neck and face, we could all put the plastic surgeons out of work.  This was a hilarious video of a woman leaning forward, pushing her chin as far up as she could, and holding it for a count of …. probably 15.  I remember laughing my arse off while watching this surgically enhanced woman claiming that her tight face and neck were due to an exercise regimen I had never seen before nor since.  Now I’m wondering.

When I do crunches – which is working the muscles in my abdominal area – I am forcing that muscle to tighten and grow stronger.  I think.  Would working my neck do the same?  Are there muscles there which could be enhanced with a regular “crunch”?  I’m not an anatomy person.  I’m a writer, entrepreneur and historian.  But I know that if I want to gather information, I do research.  This one is worth looking into because it could – possibly – get my neck off the hotspot so that I could then focus on another body part that drives me nuts.  So I’ve found that, according to e-how, you possibly can tighten your neck.  And face.  We can work on stealing money right out of the pockets of the surgeons.  I will give it a try.  Heck, its free.

If this works, my lips are next.

The Enthusiast

We do love new beginnings.  Times when we get to wipe away what was left undone and truly focus on the future.  Perhaps it is my personality style.  I recently took the ENNEAGRAM Test online (http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ – cost 10 bucks) to discover many things I already knew about my personality, but also to be the recipient of how to improve me tools – the part that offers suggestions on how to become healthier.  This is a part of the personal coaching in which I am investing for 2011.  Part of my personality (The Enthusiast) is that I love to plan and look forward to the future.  Sometimes that beats the heck out of doing the work for today.  Regardless, it is an excellent test to get feedback on your strengths and your not-so-strongs.  No judgment involved, just an follow-up report that can offer you ideas and suggestions for becoming a healthier personality.  I will take that any and every time I can get it.

One of the parts of my personality style is that I’m impulsive.  The report suggested that I attempt to stop acting on my impulses, but to notice when I am feeling them.  I’m impulsive when it comes to signing up for online classes, buying books, looking for the next miracle makeup or skin cleaning regime, buying clothes, and looking for (and purchasing) shoes for my feet that don’t work so well anymore.  Hammer toes and numbness.  Such fun.  I realized some time ago that I’m not really looking for new shoes.  I am seeking new feet.  So for this past week, I have been particularly aware of my impulse drives.  I would suggest (to me) that I begin writing them down much like one can keep a food diary.  I will keep an impulse diary.  I imagine that these impulses come from other empty spots inside, but I don’t want to get into that today.  Just be aware, and don’t act.  Regarding such impulsiveness, I have read that it is a great idea to leave credit cards at home so that one has to truly decide they want to use one instead of seeing that purse that I MUST have, and grabbing it on the spot.  Trouble with that idea is that I do much of my impulse buying online.  I suppose I could shred the credit cards but that gives me such shivers, I do not want to think about it.  Apparently, I have a long way to go with  my impulsive behavior.

 

Another healthier route for me is to stop answering and fixing things for everyone.  I did begin practicing this several years ago.  It is my nature to jump in and fix everything.  I remember an argument I had with my middle son when he was in high school.  He screamed, “you can’t fix everything!”  Why do I still remember that?  I’m sure we had many arguments, but that is one of those that stands out distinctly.  He was right.  What I have also discovered is that I no longer  want to fix everything.  When others have problems and difficulties, it does not help them to grow when I jump in (with either experience or inexperience) and save.  I can suggest if I so wish, but not do.  Therein is the important point.  Saving vs. rescuing.  If you happen upon my blog semi-regularly, you will see this theme emerge semi-regularly.  As parents, friends, siblings, children, we don’t help people when we continue to save them.  They do not discover their own unique abilities to solve their problems by having us continue to do that for them.  Even though my belief in god (or a higher power) is regularly challenged, I do believe that the relationship (if we choose to have one) offers us the experience of the perfect parent – there to call on for help if we choose to have belief, but not to step in and save us directly.  Unconditional love, but not a fix-all parent.  We are allowed to fall on our faces as many times as we want or as many times as happens, or as many falls as life hands us, but we must learn to get up and face out in the morning.  We must learn to overcome our own problems.  Do our children get to experience their consequences when we save or fix for them?

There were quite a few more lessons in the report, but these are lessons that I will read throughout this year, use in my personal coaching experience to overcome the bricks and mortar that I build in my pathway.  I will keep you apprised of the accomplishments and setbacks of this experience as I stumble along this new path I have planned for myself.  In addition I am working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.  I believe the two experiences will go hand in hand, and I hope eventually to teach The Artist’s Way in my UU fellowship. Most of these plans have to do with “unblocking” my writing so that, in the last 1/3 of my life, I can become prolific.  Which is very much what I want.

 

I ask this question a lot – what are your plans for 2011?  You might not be an enthusiast, and I can hear many groans out there.  What is the point of creating resolutions?  Just to disappoint yourself because you won’t accomplish them?  In the 12 step program, we advise that you keep getting back in the saddle.  Once you find out that you’ve fallen off, get back on.  Don’t judge, criticize, berate, argue, or otherwise abuse yourself.  What’s the point?  If you are like most people I know, you do a pretty good job of that without extra effort.  Simply get back in the saddle.  Ooops – I haven’t exercised for 2 months.  Go do it.  Don’t grab a donut.  Grab your walking shoes, and just go.  Don’t get defensive, mad, sad, or fatter.  Don’t think, just do.  Perhaps that would have been a better Nike ad.  Don’t think, just do.

 

I was chatting with my brother last night who has rather severe back pain.  He’s a tiny little thing, so it isn’t weight related pain.  I asked if he stretched regularly.  No.  He keeps meaning to do it the first thing in the morning to warm up for the day.  I said, don’t put it in that kind of category.  Anytime you feel the pain, stretch.  We went through a few.  You lift something and feel the pain? Drop and do a few stretches.  Take better care of you.  If that is your new year’s resolution, decide how you want to do it.  Do it before you go to bed.  Or do it at lunch.  Or at a 10:00 break.  The important thing is to develop the habit, see the results, and become more motivated.  Don’t think, just do.

 

Another story – I have a good friend who is occasionally verbally abused by her friend.  She was relating to me her conversation of how she told him in an equally verbally abusive conversation that clearly that she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.  It wasn’t going to happen another time.  I asked her what were the repercussions?  How would she stop it?  She seemed confused at the idea.  It simply isn’t enough to say, “this won’t happen again”.  There must be consequences.  End the relationship?  If that is too much, take a break from it for a specific time?  Even more deeply, get some help as to why you put up with such an abusive person?  Everything has consequences.  For 2011, think about the consequences of not caring enough for you.

 

Here’s to the new year, and my being the Enthusiast.  I have enough enthusiasm for both you and me.  Want to play?  Make some plans.  Write them down.  Reach a little higher than you think you can get.  It’s all up to you.  I can encourage if you will play.

Review of “A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex after 50: Getting Your Mind, Body, and Relationship Ready for Pleasure” – BY: PEPPER SCHWARTZ, PHD A Vibrant Nation Health Gui

I am delighted to report that I found this report fascinating and encouraging.  Dr. Schwartz has covered all of the angles in creating and maintaining a healthy sex life for women (and men) past their 50th birthday.  I was curious when I began to see if she would be all inclusive to the many options which women have, and was excited to see that she did exactly that, covering masturbation, later in life gender choice changes, toys, diet, and exercise.

Having had many conversations with my close friends about the way sex changes as we get older, I was gratified to learn that for many, it does get better.  Dr. Schwartz doesn’t dodge the issues of body image or health problems.  There is some glossing of the “average” woman in her 50’s and how good “she” feels about her life, but I took this to mean that the things which Dr. Schwartz writes indicates how possible it is for women to be satisfied their sex lives.  She goes on to delve into the prospect of lowered libido for so many reasons, each reason well presented and researched, and how to approach that “problem” to enhance one’s sexual experiences.

I like the idea that there is one report which I can read that will detail the many separate articles for which I would have to search – in magazines, academic journals, online articles. This is an easy read that gives me the information I can seek on my own, and wonder about the validity of it.  Dr. Schwartz’s background removes that concern.

I particularly agree with the exercising component.  If you don’t love your body then it does become hard for someone else to do so.  The endorphins I get from exercise do more for my mind and sexual health than anything I have ever tried.  I have been on Paxil for too many years to recall, and I believe I will be weaning in the next few months just to see if that makes a difference.

I also have girlfriends who have opted out of long time marriages, seeking their own personal fulfillment or simply getting out of a bad situation, who I hope will find the part about dating after 50 a great encouragement.  One particular friend has chosen to throw her lot in with an emotionally unavailable man because dating is so difficult.  Remembering and reinforcing that it takes work to accomplish any goals which are worthwhile is an important part of Dr. Schwartz’s study.

Kudos to you, Pepper Schwartz, for boiling it down into an easily digestible guide which will hold appeal for so many women over 50.  I learned from it.  Have sent it to my husband, and will suggest it for many (male and female) friends.  Well done.  Dr. Schwartz is a wonderful writer, and an authority on this important subject.  I don’t plan to give up sex as long as I’m breathing, and I will embrace many of her ideas for getting the romance back.

FYI – for those of you interested (and all of you should be) here is the link to purchase the guide as well as a free report on vaginal dryness.

A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex After 50: Getting Your Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure
Product Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/store/great-sex-after-50-a-womans-guide-to-getting-her-mind-body-and-relationship-ready-for-pleasure-php/

Associated Free Report: Top 5 Treatments for Vaginal Dryness and Dyspareunia (Sexual Intercourse Pain)
Free Report Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/freemiums/top-5-treatments-for-vaginal-dryness-and-dyspareunia-sexual-intercourse-pain/

End of the year 2010 meanderings

Here we are.  I’ve gotten through each day just planning on getting through each day.  My most recent challenge which I have accepted is to work The Artists’ Way.  What a great experience this is.  The first requirement is to write 3 morning pages each day.  Just streaming of consciousness writing.  Don’t plan, just write.  What has emerged is truly wonderful.  I am having thoughts – and accepting them – about changes which I have fought vigorously.  I am healing in areas of my life (if not my feet) that have not previously occurred.  I am accepting myself and my drive with this writing, learning about myself, and wondering what will be the next chapter.

I know I’m struggling with aging.  Beauty and attractiveness have always been part of my mode of operation.  Even when I didn’t believe it was completely true, I knew that I could dress up and clean up and make it work.  I have gotten to the age where the 2nd looks are not happening, I’m arriving at the age of the “invisible woman” (unless I get loud) and the visual nods of approval are not coming my way often (except from loved ones and friends). I’m adjusting to the last year having taken its toll on me.  But I’m getting better with it.  If only friends and family tell you that you are lovely, isn’t that the most loving and important people to care?  Truly it must be.

Back to The Artist’s Way.  IF you desire to have your creativity unlocked, please pursue this book.  You notice I did not say read it.  Pursue it.  Internalize it.  Make it part of your daily habit to know YOU better than you know anyone else.  The changes which come to you in life – be it in physical, mental, emotional, intellectual form – can be embraced and accepted.  I am practicing loving me, and in association, loving my family and dealing with my problems in a more directed and self considering manner than ever before.

Additionally, for the new year, I am hiring a personal coach.  A woman I have known for years who I am aware is extremely talented at what she does.  I am investing in me.  This will not be an inexpensive expense.  I will have to budget my money and monitor what I spend.  I will have to be financially frugal and fiscally responsible.  I will have to say no to the random, addicted purchase, and use what I have.  I believe that this will be worth the investment.  I have goals to accomplish, I’m 56 years old, and I want this next chapter to move forward with purpose and dynamic action.  I want to live hard until I die.  And this is my plan on how to accomplish it.

Today’s writing is almost a “stream of consciousness” writing, much like my morning pages.  But it feels good to do this, and I hope it feels good to you to read it.  Invest in you for the new year.  If that means one yoga class a week, or a new pair of walking shoes, or a makover, or going back to school.  Live hard.  Love hard. Do it for you for 2011.